The last few weeks have flown by in a haze of working, sleeping, singing and catching up with my life. I've really enjoyed being at home in my own environment again, and it almost feels like everything is back to normal. But at the back of my mind has been the knowledge that there is still some pretty scary stuff to come, and I can't really hide from it any more.
Surgery is, hopefully, the last step in my journey to recovery. It's a daunting prospect, but it's not like I have a choice really - it has to be done. From my surgery at Christmas I have an idea of what to expect, but I am hoping that this time my recovery will be quick and I won't need any further treatment.
I haven't been blogging much because I didn't want this to turn into a health journal. The internet has been a great source of information but I have learned to use it responsibly. There are many people out there (usually selling) strange cures or wacky advice, and those are easier to avoid. It's harder to miss the stories of people who have had similar conditions to mine and have suffered worse or not made it through. I try to use the positive stories as inspiration, and when I read things which upset me I just have to remember that I am different, my cancer is different, and their experience will not be mine. It won't be easy - it hasn't been so far. But it will be ok.